Dating workaholic women
If you’re a single man who has moved to New York City, chances are it has to do with being good—even the best—at something.Hence the workaholics, status-aholics, power-aholics, and whatever else ambition breeds.Meanwhile, the streets are plentiful with ever more attractive women. As one man admitted, “Guys in New York have unrealistic standards for what their lives should be.” But it’s hardly fair to say that New York City women haven’t come here for much the same reasons that men have, or that they don’t have similarly unrealistic expectations.Amid all that, there is a sense of perpetual youth, a staving off of the trappings of adulthood—like “settling down and getting married”—far into our 30s and even 40s because, frankly, we can get away with it. “I think there are a couple of different problems in New York,” says Fadal.
It’s where the boys are.” As Tamsen Fadal, relationship expert and the female member of “America’s only husband-wife matchmaking team” told us, “New York is like a candy store to men.The self-described “bi-coastal but not in a gay way” guy who didn’t come home one night because he’d passed out in a planter underneath the Manhattan Bridge. “He doesn’t deserve you,” they would say, my own Greek chorus.(We continued to date for at least a month after that.) Their ages have ranged from nearly 15 years younger than me to going on 15 years older. “You’re so much better than him.” Then, inevitably: “Why are New York men such assholes? New York City, to be fair, suffers its share of problems for the female dater.And something else: that the success or failure of most relationships can, if we look at them with open eyes, probably be predicted from the very beginning based on some simple indicators.Take a “concept” like “He’s Just Not That Into You,” which puts blame squarely on the man’s shoulders. But at what point did we lose the capacity to be as “Just Not That Into You” as the men?
And so we want a little bit of everything, over and over again.